U.S. Does Away With Elected Senate, Opts For Canadian System Of Appointees

By Lance Beaudry

What a lovely bunch!

WASHINGTON – President Barack Obama announced today that the United States of America has decided to get rid of its current elected senatorial system and install one in which members are appointed.

The decision, which was about as far out of the blue as possible, was made at a small press conference at the Oval Office.

“I strongly feel that it is in the best interest of this great nation that we adopt a system similar to that of our friendly neighbors to the north,” said Obama.

“There is far too much corruption in a system that sees members elected by the normal public. We are much better off with a Senate in which people are put there because they have the most money and friends.”

The Sensationalist Times hit the streets to ask a few Americans what they thought of the announcement. Here are some the responses we received:

“What does the Senate do exactly?”

“I think Canadians are nice.”

“I didn’t know Obama was part of the Senate.”

“What does this have to do with Canada?”

“The communists are winning.”

“Will there still be a Speaker of the House?”

– Tatzeryoodge “helped” Beaudry in “conducting” some of the interviews.