F1 Bans Brakes To Try And Stop Vettel From Winning So Much

By Michael Chesterfield

PARIS – In an unprecedented move, the FIA announced today a mandatory adjustment to the braking systems on all Formula 1 cars. It said it was afraid that Sebastian Vettel could prove to be another Michael Schumacher and that nobody wants to see the same guy win the championship seven years in a row.

Texas Man Quits Job To Watch UTSA In The NCAA Tournament

By Lance Beaudry

SAN ANTONIO – Rich Hersser really and truly believes that the University of Texas at San Antonio can make a run in this year’s NCAA Basketball Tournament. So much so that the 41-year-old janitor quit his job to follow the team to Cleveland, where they are to play their first round matchup against the Ohio State Buckeyes.