Michael Bublé Called It, Hollywood Is Now Officially Dead

By Lance Beaudry

so beautiful...I miss it already

LOS ANGELES – In a weird instance of foreshadowing, Michael Bublé’s song “Hollywood” seems to have correctly predicted the demise of the Los Angeles neighborhood.

“It is with great dismay that I must announce the official name change of this storied neighborhood,” said Eric Garcetti, Los Angeles city councillor for the 13th district. “From here on out Hollywood will be known as Coca Cola.”

The reports aren’t official, but those in the know say that Coca Cola Inc. apparently paid $27.5 billion for the rights.

No one at Coca Cola responded to our Facebook messages or Tweets.

In retrospect, we understand how the title of this article might’ve been a little deceiving. However, all of us at The Sensationalist Times feel a close connection to Hollywood. The name change means a loss of identity for Tinseltown and, at least in our eyes, it might as well be dead.

The Actors Guild has planned a protest tomorrow on the Walk of Fame, which itself is soon to be renamed the Coca Cola Walk of Fame.