Left-Handed Baseball League Runs Clockwise

By Michael Chesterfield

Are there really enough lefties to make a whole league?

NORMAN, OK – The Sensationalist Times has uncovered a baseball league in this suburb of the state capital that only accepts left-handed people and in which base-runners run clockwise instead of the traditional counterclockwise.

“We thought we would give kids unfortunate enough to be born left-handed a chance to experience the game just like their normal friends,” said Ray Wilker, 52, founder of the Central Oklahoma Lefty Baseball League (COLBL) and coach of the second-place Smalltown Greenscissors.

Wilker himself is lucky enough to be right-handed, but said he started the league because he was fed up of his left-handed son constantly getting beat up by his teammates in the normal baseball league.

In a twist that started off as a joke, Wilker thought the players should run the opposite way around the bases. So they go to third base first, or as they call it: first base.

“We wanted to be different, but thought we’d never get the rule actually passed by the league’s committee,” Wilker said. “I mean these kids are already left-handed, and now you want to teach them to run the opposite way? I thought we were asking too much.”

In reality, running the wrong way around the bases has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. The league excepts left-handed girls as well as guys. And since girls already tend to run the wrong way when playing baseball, it has helped them to feel more at home.

“I never thought I would like baseball so much as I do now,” said Ashley Cobbleton, third-basewoman for the Pirates, whose mascot wears his eyepatch on his right eye. “I’ve made so many friends. It feels so nice to be around people like me.”

The COLBL has also been in talks with coaches and the committee about installing backwards home-plates. But so far no plans have been made.