Cliff Lee Signs With The Brewers, Turns His Back On The Phillies

By Erika Tatzeryoodge


Image by Alan Turkus

PHILADELPHIA – The baseball world has grown all too accustomed to seeing Cliff Lee on the move. But nothing could’ve prepared it for this: In what can only be described as a shocking move, Lee has decided to jump ship on the Philadelphia Phillies and has signed with the Milwaukee Brewers.

The four-year contract is worth a reported $200 million.

“I thought what I really wanted was a championship,” Lee said at the press conference today during which he announced the move. “But in the end it turns out I want money more.”

And at $50 million per year, it will be a lot more.

Lee signed a deal this past Monday with the Phillies. That one was worth $120 million for five years.

There has been no official word from Philadelphia management with respect to how Lee was able to so quickly break off that new deal. But The Sensationalist Times was able to catch up with Phillies manager Charlie Manuel at the Black Stallion bar in Philly.

“I can’t fault the guy for going to Milwaukee,” a rowdy Manuel said. “I mean would you pass up $50 million a year to throw a ball for an hour a week?”

No, I guess I wouldn’t Charlie.

“Plus, the Brewers organization gave us 50 mill to have ’em and to keep our mouths shut…oops,” Manuel added.

Milwaukee seems quite optimistic about the acquisition.

“I don’t know if our fine organization has ever had a player on the same scale as Cliff Lee,” said Doug Melvin, the Brewers’ general manager. “With Cliff in our lineup I think we have a decent shot to go all the way.”

Melvin made no mention of Milwaukee’s 77-85 record in 2010 or the fact that they’ve never even come remotely close to winning the World Series. Okay, there was 1982, but seriously, who can think that far back?

“I feel really comfortable here already,” Lee said about being in Milwaukee. “I love this town and I know I’m gonna feel right at home here and with this organization.”

Reporters were left a little dumbfounded at that previous comment as the press conference was held in Philly and there is no evidence to suggest Lee has ever set foot in the state of Wisconsin.

After spending seven seasons with the Cleveland Indians, Lee played for the Phillies in 2009 and just this summer bounced around between the Texas Rangers, where he choked in the World Series again; the Seattle Mariners; the Phillies, for a second time; and now the Brewers.

When asked what he planned to do with his spare time in Milwaukee, Lee answered: “Buy some cheap beer and freeze my ass off.”

Sounds about right.