France Drops The Minimum Retirement Age To 45, Strikes Over

By Erika Tatzeryoodge

Does this even make sense?

PARIS – In a move mostly likely designed to stifle the recent strikes and protests, Nicolas Sarkozy announced today that France has dropped the minimum retirement age to 45.

“I’ve had enough of these unions and their striking,” said the President of France, speaking at a makeshift press conference at the Chateau Versailles.

“It appears that when we allowed people to form unions we gave away the country.”

The President made it seem as though he really didn’t have much say in the decision.

“We really had no option,” Sarkozy said. “If we didn’t do it, these crybabies would have went on forever.”

This new change comes just weeks after France upped the retirement age to 62 from 60. This sparked outrage all over the country, with people overturning and burning police cars, looting stores, and just generally acting crazy.

What the purpose of all of their violent actions was or what it actually had to do with the retirement age or pensions is anybody’s guess.

“We’ve had enough of these crazy capitalists,” said Jean-Pierre Gauthier who partook in the recent protests and riots in Lyon. “Bring back communism!!”

When asked how the country will actually pay to have everyone sitting on their asses and mooching off the government by the time they’re 45, Sarkozy said: “Who cares? I won’t be in power anymore. Besides, the country won’t make it a decade with the new law.”

It seems the joke is on the union workers. By the looks of it, it does indeed seem that France will be bankrupt and third world before any of them have time to collect a dime, or centime, or whatever the hell currency they use over there.