After Two Days Of Laughing, Canada Sends Help To States Hit With Blizzard

By Erika Tatzeryoodge

Where are all the cars?

OTTAWA – After watching in awe and ROFLMAOing for two days as America’s east coast struggled through what, by Canadian standards, were flurries, the Canadian Government announced today that it was sending aid.

“We thought our neighbors to the south would be able to cope with this minor storm,” Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper said at a small press conference held today. “But after seeing just how much trouble they were having with the blizzards we decided they needed help from some people who actually know how to handle winter.”

The help is coming in the form of snow ploughs, airplane deicing machines, salt trucks and good old-fashioned country boys in flannel shirts carrying steel shovels.

“I’m pretty excited to be going down there,” said John Salisbury of Perth Smith Falls, Ontario. “I’m getting paid to take a few days off work and shovel a few centimeters of snow. I don’t really know what they’re complainin’ about down there, but I’m not complainin’.”

Not everyone involved shares Salisbury’s enthusiasm.

“The storm’s supposed to be coming up here,” said Jean-Pierre Régaleau of Trois-Rivières, Quebec who works for the city snow removal service. “So it really does not make sense to me how they’re sending our trucks down to the U.S. We’re gonna need them soon.”

Hundreds of flights have been grounded and trains halted as the northeast has been hit by two feet of snow. With Canada’s help, east coast cities hope to have everything back to normal in a couple of days.

“We thought we were prepared for a drizzle like this,” New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg said. “But this proved just how much we weren’t. It’s absolutely unacceptable that people are sitting in airports for days because of this.”

If one steps back for just a second, it’s actually quite easy to see why cities such as New York weren’t prepared for this storm. After all, it’s only been snowing in the northeast since the dawn of time.

Extra reporting done by Hal Rubin in his custom aluminum reinforced snowshoes.